If you've been following my blog, you've heard me say that avoiding difficult conversations is a rip off. For those leaders and managers with a big heart, it can be very difficult to course-correct others. I believe this is often a training issue. First of all, if you as a leader do not identify the red flags, you will not be able to notice where course correction is needed. Secondly, if you don't have the skills or tools, you will go into default mode which is avoidance or agreement.
As a rule, it seems that many public safety professionals during the course of their budgeting will invest hundreds of thousands on technology upgrades and equipment and often very little to give themselves or their supervisors and telecommunicators the personal development, or the tools and skills they need to lead or perform effectively. Think about it, what good is having the latest and greatest in technology when the mindset, mental health and well-being are suffering?
In my coaching and working with other managers and leaders in public safety I have found that often those leading are seeing themselves as victims with no choices. When you find yourself in this situation, trust me, it won't be long before your calling card in liability will be called. Take a look at this conversation example. Here are all the components of a conversation about a leader or manager who refused to have a difficult conversation:
1. Complaining about the performance of an employee
2. Feeling misunderstood and not taking ownership
3. Making excuses
4. Victim mindset
Let's break it down to a script with the leader and me as the challenger so you can see it from a different dimension:
Manager: I've got an employee that's worked for me for a decade and she never finishes her paper work. We have to have people follow up behind her just to get everything right. (Complaining)
Challenger: So let me get this straight: you are the manager who hires and fires, right?
Manager: Yes, that's me.
Challenger: So what's the problem?
Manager: Well, you don't understand my situation. (Feeling misunderstood)
Challenger: What is the situation?
Manager: She's been here 10 years, there is red tape with firing, and there are politics. (Excuses)
Challenger: You've just offered three excuses, so now what are you going to do about it?
Manager: Well, there's nothing I can do about it. (Victim mentality)
Challenger: So this makes you a victim with no choices?
Manager: Well, I wouldn't say that. What do you mean?
Challenger: Well the only people who have no choices are victims. What do you think your employees think when they see you...the leader say there are no choices?
Manager: I never thought of it that way.
When you avoid helping an employee course-correct, you set in place many patterns that contribute to inefficiencies that negatively impact productivity:
- The acceptance and precedence of poor performance
- The positioning of yourself among your subordinates as a weak leader
- Confusion about what constitutes excellence
- Resentment among co-workers
It's possible that your agency is losing hundreds of thousands due to a manager or supervisor who has an inability to have difficult conversations. Consider the impact of an employee who has been with you over a decade and then do the math. Even better, do the math of the settlement if inactions cost you a lawsuit.
If this article resonates with you and you want to make a significant change, give me a call at 252-678-3788 or email me at heather@stopworkplacedrama.com. If you plan on attending the Navigators conference in May, I'll be presenting the Stop Workplace Drama methodology with author, Marlene Chism. We'd love to meet you there!