Those that know me best know that I often say that avoiding difficult conversations is a rip off. For leaders and managers with a big heart, it can be very difficult to course-correct others. I believe this is often a training issue. First of all, if you as a leader do not identify the red flags, you will not be able to notice where course correction is needed. Secondly, if you don’t have the skills or tools, you will go into default mode which is avoidance or agreement.
In public safety, we often invest hundreds of thousands on technology and equipment and often very little to give our supervisors and managers the tools and skills they need to lead effectively. Would you agree?
To shine the light on this matter, I want to share all the components of a conversation that I recently had with a manger who refused to have a difficult conversation:
1. Complaining about the performance of an employee
2. Feeling misunderstood and not taking ownership
3. Making excuses
4. Victim mindset
Here is the conversation broken down in a script so you can see it from a different dimension:
Manager: I have an employee that’s working for me for over a decade and she never finishes her paper work or records reports accurately. We have to have people follow up behind her just to get everything right. (Complaining)
Me: So let me get this straight: you are the manager who hires and fires right?
Manager: Yes, that’s me.
Me: So what’s the problem?
Manager: Well, you don’t understand my situation. (Feeling misunderstood)
Me: What is the situation?
Manager: She’s been here for over 10 years, there is red tape with firing, and there are politics. (Excuses)
Me: You’ve just offered three excuses, so now what are you going to do about it?
Manager: Well, there’s nothing I can do about it. (Victim mentality)
Me: So this makes you a victim with no choices?
Manager: Well, I wouldn’t say that. What do you mean?
Me: Well the only people who have no choices are victims. What do you think your employees think when they see you…the leader say there are no choices? Nothing is changing and the work load is not fair for those having to pick up the slack.
Manager: I never thought of it that way.
Here's what I know... When you avoid helping an employee course-correct, you set in place many patterns that contribute to inefficiencies that negatively impact productivity:
- The acceptance and precedence of poor performance
- The positioning of yourself among your subordinates as a weak leader
- Confusion about what constitutes excellence
- Resentment among co-workers
It’s possible that your agency is losing hundreds of thousands of dollars due to a manager or supervisor who has an inability to have difficult conversations. Consider the impact of an employee who has been with you over a decade and then do the math. If this article resonates with you and you want to make a significant change, give me a call at 252.678.3788 or email me at joynerh@halifaxnc.com
My reality and course correction came with the help of a great mentor and leadership coach, Marlene Chism. You can learn more about her at www.marlenechism.com or www.stopworkplacedrama.com. There are plenty of complimentary resources to share with your colleagues and awareness articles to help you course correct. I encourage you to take a look! You can also connect with her via social media on Facebook and Twitter @stopyourdrama.