For most people, including myself, there is always some sort of trigger during the holidays mixed in with all the joy and cheer. Yes, the Christmas lights are beautiful, and it’s fun to see the kids open gifts, but in the background is a layer of drama that shows up during what I call “The Holiday Exchange.”
You respond to someone else’s sarcasm with a few jabs of your own. You deal with your resentment by spending more than you should on a gift, to make up for your bad behavior. You blow up at your employees, co-workers or kids when they ask a question. Or, you drink too much at the holiday party to relieve your stress.
Why is there so much drama during the holidays?
One may argue that the business of public safety demands longer hours, or many of us are tired or feeling fatigued by all that is expected of us in our profession, then from family and friends, especially during the holidays. The diet is blown and here you go... you have gained back the 10lbs you just lost, or maybe it's the constant running on pure adrenalin. It’s easy to let the subconscious programming take over, to repeat old dysfunctional patterns.
Are you ready to step into a new truth?
How to Craft a Different Holiday Exchange
* Exchange resentment for understanding.
* Exchange guilt for self-acceptance.
* Exchange harsh words for a moment of restraint.
* Exchange frantic hurry for a slow breath and cup of tea.
* Exchange sarcasm for kindness.
* Exchange gossip for maturity.
* Exchange foolishness for wisdom.
* Exchange anxiety for a few laughs (Turn to favorite movies or friends for these.)
You might say, “But I wouldn’t get triggered if others weren’t so rude.” Or, “If I just had more time, then I could be kinder,” — or more patient, or at peace.
Here is my challenge to you: Be at peace anyway. Let your choices be made based on WHO YOU ARE, not on circumstances and not on what everyone else is doing.
Just get clear on who you are, what you want, and what you are committed to. Get clear, and become the change you wish to see. Concentrate on your well-being and change one day at a time versus looking ahead and predicting the week, month or year. And last but not least, don't let one set back cause you to lose focus.
Points to Ponder
1. What do you clearly want?
2. What is your commitment for the holidays?
3. What must you choose to fulfill your commitment?